like a drop of many pins.
creep of the sublime geckos...
too loud the beats of heart.
shrieking like my mind's echoes.
Silence...
too loud to ignore.
Silence...
like a fat man's snore.
Silence...
like a bliss gone gory.
Silence...
narrating a horrible story.
too thumping to subdue.
in my crimson bleeding.
in my ear- drums.
waking up all that was sleeping.
Silence...
the latest radio.
Silence...
native of an uprooted ghetto.
Silence...
the voices that beckon.
Silence...
not too silent, I reckon.
why I thought
you'd understand my feelings?
you seemed to be like
my gum-boots in marble-cleaning!
the steeple covered with moss
is no more the good sight.
what's better to look at, perhaps,
is how I lost the fight!
you said, "you're mine"
and, by God, I was ready to be.
but then, someone else's entry.
and the curtain fell on me!!
silence became the only talk we had.
words became immaterial tangents.
gloom was just about to engulf me.
but I quickly wiped the remenants.
the fact is, I'm off!!
the birds are chirping somewhere
like a soothing assurity,
its about to dawn over here!
you end with the first gleam.
I hope to regain my sheen.
somewhere you can still think-
I'd be like how I'd been...
maybe I'm still the one you knew.
but not anymore into you!
the sun comes up... a new day!!
I never thought I'd ever mean--
FUCK YOU!!!
the welcomed darkness
like a balm on the bruises.
lights shining distant
like the past left behind.
beneath the feat
the beautiful coldness
of the rocks weathered
by the winds of time.
a soft breeze
blowing the soft fabric
of my dress.
the closed eyes
visioning the days gone by.
the mind put to ease
after a long turmoil
of unresolved dilemmas,
reminisces some moments.
life IS beautiful...
only if you don't have to
Love it!
the tired eye-lids,
adamant not to open.
the ocean floor
some feet underneath.
splash! splash!!
the tired waters
wiping off the day's remenants.
I know the sad face
somewhere up in the sky,
gloomy light of which
the companion of so many nights
spent lying awake
in the rugs of despair.
I know of these sounds,
the music of the
creatures of night.
somewhere even my voice
is resonating amidst
a certain brutalities.
splash! splash!!
I wonder if the saline water
would purge me too?!
another chapter comes to an end
behind the veil of my eyelids.
I rise to my toes
arms stretched wide open.
does the vast expanse
reads my poker face?
the fall...
the rush of wind.
the time stops ticking by.
did I think?
the cold water so soothing.
the ceasing air in my lungs.
I gasp!
pushed back to the surface,
I let myself drown again.
the waters clear.
the night sky above me.
I float immobile.
the shore is somewhere
in some other mode of time.
here is just me
on a virtual bed
in my own time...
I Smile!!
in a nowhere land,
a dingy room,
with stinking bed-covers.
she lay sprawled
like a mattress
upon which anyone can trample.
before her stand
those brutal assassins.
a video-cam catches her eye.
she closes her eyes
to pray to her God.
to ask Him to stop this.
but nothing helps.
with utter animosity,
they rip her naked.
they all stand and laugh
like ogres, eyeing their helpless feast.
one by one they take chances
to murder her chastity.
the devastation isn't just physical.
she's sedated by her pain.
they don't even stop to consider.
what more? they record it all.
they upload it.
the mediums uncountable.
a case starts in the courts.
"where did they do?"
"how long did it last for?"
those are questions she cannot answer.
suddenly the whole world knows
wherever she goes, she's confronted.
the look in everybody's eyes
is akin to that of her killers.
nobody comes to her rescue.
nobody wraps her innocence.
instead they all rip her wounds again.
they make her feel naked
in full public glare,
yet again.
everybody becomes a lecher
she cannot run away from.
the case is lost.
the accused go scott free.
she's victimised,
yet again!
she is abandoned.
nobody is there without some motive.
what is Rape?
the real ordeal?
or the stabs afterwards?
she shuts her eyes yet again
to pray for the last time.
to ask her God
to atleast grant her death.
the blade of the knife.
the warmth of her blood.
the inevitable darkness.
the eternal rest.
the freedom from the body
that bore the wounds.
the journey to the hereafter
where the vultures won't
scathe her soul ever again....
I look into the air,
myself, falling rain.
dripping coldness of past.
memories- old pain!
drops fall.
pudding my damp water life
spiraling a mirror,
self- lonely strife.
a sigh,
one frown,
crying soft, saddened tears.
storms of remembrance
through bleak yesteryears.
clouds- a whorl, dark sky.
sheltering my heart.
but how can i enjoy
while taking no part?
covering cold soul,
the corona of defence.
defying the stabs of
my fate's intents.
this is madness.
I think in a plaintive cry.
I'm here on the cusp
of lay down and die.
what my destiny?
an empty-off dream!
a plaything with which
Gods and angels scheme.
am I doomed to love still?
time never free!!
subsumed wholly
beneath life's scattered debris!
in justice,
I feel a torrential doubt.
perhaps more than sorrow,
painful fall-out!
I can't rise from these insane streets-
lonely all the more!
have you ever felt
the cold lifeless hand of an infant
or gazed into their unblinking eyes
and observed the face of death
when marked in bittersweet innocense?
have you ever touched your dreams
and felt the simplistic joy
of feeling them become reality
only to abandon them
for reasons you can't explain?
have you ever watched your family
once who shared the greatest of loes
suffer an unforgettable and unforgiveable tragedy
that will slowly, painfully and inevitably
tear them all apart?
do you know, first hand,
the evil that resides deep within the heart
of every man, every woman and every child?
have you seen its face as it randomly seeks
a soul to torment and destroy?
do you know the darker side of life
the one that awakens you
in the still of night
crying to your unknown power
"Save me from Myself!!"?
does your heart constantly questions
whether humanity is obtainable
in a world corrupted with suffering
and where war
is the favoured solution for peace?
if you really wanna know me,
and understand the forces that compel me to move-on,
then take these questions
and take the entwined pain
for this is who I am!
just an year ago,
widows were wierd
policemen were boys
terrorists were insane
and daredevils were fearless!
life was fun, and
friends were smiles
but, the past year
has been of some evolution
where I've woken upto some grave truths
where I've opened my eyes to the reality
and now here I lie in my desperation...
WIDE AWAKE!!
