Sacrificed!!

--premise--
u live, still live in ur past
n there's nothin beyond this present for me
baby, what place does future holds
if we cannot let go of the memories!?!
strange, though it may seem,
there are emotions doubted and unseen
strangers, yes, we have become!
n the blame won't leave us clean!

that one deadly race,
kills my feelings on the face
n i cannot anchor my mind on harbours,
yet, its u who wakes up in disgrace!!
never mine, yes, i don't have no right
still, y do i get so jealous of that fight?
up in pride or low on esteem...
its me totally blurred from sight!

sacrificed, though not really,
sacrificed u for ur past
there'd be no-one like her for u
a darker shadow casting fast!
lost in mid-way, unsure again
wasn't it better if u'd not lied
u hate it though, then y did u say,
"I love you"...
when "love" is what u sacrificed!?!

starting of feeling a nobody...
no place of importance held in ur life
'coz it was all given to somebody afore
then y to paint ur genuine strife?
if u couldn't make me a part of u,
i still hadn't closed any doors, u know,
u could have come forlorn n i'd have embraced u
just d way it till recently showed!

another attempt laid to waste
another gesture taking u back to her
another moment stolen from my affection
another attempt of urs to find her!

is that how life should go on?
is that how feelings should be?
unsure and confused, lost in the distance,
is there nothin in store for me?

who the hell said u could give only when u get?
whom did u just listen to?
i cannot stand filling up for somebody i don't even know!
i cannot even, now, stand to be away from u...

sacrificed! all my reasons to have been sane
sacrificed! couldn't u see, i didn't demand
did i have any right ever? rather i ask am i entitled to any?
am i so unimportant? shall i always try n fake to understand?
anyday, anywhere, any damn moment,
i, bloody, believed ur not obliged to b nice...
u took a step further and faked genuinity
n here, washed top to bottom, i stand Sacrificed!

sometimes, silence is the best conversation
but ur silence is always a closed door
y did u have to paint me special?
u were enough...i can't remember myself asking for more...
its always a long turmoil...u could have left it one-sided
there was an emptiness in me
but i never knew it asked for ur sympathy
u could have left my issues to me...

tears flow from these fazed eyes
as i write these immaterial tangents for no-one
i cannot even let u know, anymore, what u should know
i cannot give myself to any other now, even for once!
ur sorrow shows, and it shows to kill my one hypothetical bliss
u cannot get over with her..i know! then y those b'ful lies?
stranded, abandoned n soon i'd b forgotten in the ashes of time
i know u'd go, never to come back...leaving me behind, sacrificed!

its always an endless story of unsolved issues
belonging to u, there's not even nowhere to go!
maybe these pains i deserve, maybe i sure do
but, baby, just as u made me love u, teach me to forgo...
its obvious to stop and ponder
ponder over things unsaid and all the agonizing lies!
but i guess that's not even for me to do,
'coz after all, it was always Your sacrifice!!

==Clause==
a new day of uptown emotions
it was better if i'd never read ur verses
blinded by emotions u claim to have left behind
those thoughts, penning down ur cuses
was the curse supposed to follow her or me?
away from her, even for a moment, are u?
u were always lost in her and never in me!!

who the hell am i to even ponder,
over ur stands and situations, by the way!?!
but, i'm not posting them over u,
i'm just being plain, if at all i can say!!
looking up in the skies, did u ever think?
there's some psycho holding onto ur lies
ur lost in the remenants of her deciet
but, darling, y do I feel so sacrificed!?!

b'ful lies said and never meant!
that one chaste kiss deepening my love...
but oops! when u don't bother, then how would u know!?!
how bad it seems to be left with the bluff!!
tired words of neverending questions,
tired of even being with my pain and sorrow...
frail vessesls of unsustained emotions
of a wasted today and unwelcoming tomorrow!!

always happens once in a while to all
i guess everybody, for someone, has to fall
my blood rushes into the dumps of my wasteage
dejected, demeaned, now forced to crawl.
but how does it matter anyays!?!
u never gave a damn to how i feel for u
just liking the sounds of new successes of ur games
never even thought to come out open and true!!

baby, y things go downhill?
thwarted first attempt...do u think i'll survive?
u should have let it remain one-sided, i could have handled MY problems...
darling, y u made "US"?? y is this the reason for "Sacrificed"!?!