B. D. S. M.

BONDAGE-DISCIPLINE

you drift by the side of me
like the whisper of a silent wind.
your fragrance knocks on the doors
of my elated fantasies, before i succumb.
you stay frozen like a carving
to whom even Bernini would do no justice.
the flares smirk deep down in eyes
of your devastating prowess, profound.
its almost visible, the contact.
our eyes hold a string so strong.
you flick through your eyes, my needs,
i freeze with you, though you know i long.

:: there's a dance, does that require any rhythm? ::
"the rhythm is in our ragged breathing."
:: there's a flare, does it require more fuel? ::
"the fuel is in the skipping heart's beating."
:: there's a need, does it call for a want? ::
"the want is so tangible in your eyes!"
:: there's a reckless rush, it requires a warning! ::
"can it even be prevented, in the raging skies?"

your unfathomable eyes,
so inhumanly desiring!
we haven't even touched!
yet we stand breathless, panting!
you kindle a spark,
a need so dire.
the chaste sweetness of inhibition,
of burning in your fire...

SODO-MASOCHISM

"tonight, you're mine, woman!"

you drift closer with every word
the thoughtless craving ends with your touch.
its exactly like how I'd touch myself!
welded into your frame,
with you lost on my tongue,
our passions heighten together,
the thrill is such power that it stung.

the force is repelling, yet a magnet.
the bruises would would satisfy the craving.

"forget the world, can you?
forget that you were ever human!"
an electricity washes through me
as i'm ripped and fondled..

:: you are my master, you're my grave. ::
"yes! i'm your spirit and i'm your slave."

this beautiful beatification enthralls.
i'm subjected, i humiliate.
the lashes sear to my core, like yours.
you dismantle, i annihilate.

your shaft is like a drug to me.
my flooded womb, your fantasy.
you drench me as i quench your thirst.
you taste me as i devour your lust.
you pin me, grope me hard.
my bites seem uncertain to discard.

:: empty me, and i shall fill you back. ::
swollen lips contrite, the flood distracts.
"you fulfilled me, i'd reciprocate."
a satisfied smirk breaks on your facade...

Androgynous

he penned her orgasm,
like it was his.
she desired her on pages,
like she wasn't she at all.
he made love to him in words
like he was his woman.
she kissed her, in theory,
like she was her man.
Incapacitating!!

then why is it wrong?
if i really love a woman
while i, myself, am one?
or if he fantasizes of him
and get an erect shaft?

who AM I when it comes to love?
am i a "man"?
am i a "woman"?

I AM ANDROGYNOUS!!

and so he fantasizes
and takes his fingers to be her lips,
caressing his tool.
every night she lies on her bed
and her contours are mapped
by "his hands" while they really are hers.

i can love as a man.
or i can be loved as a woman.
i can take her in my arms.
or i can let him conquer me.
in the end, i'd still be going back
to please myself
like how i've been doing to me.

i'm Androgynous.
inside Me is my happy place.
i am my own Man.
i am my own Woman.
i am my Master.
i am my Slave.
i am my Soul.
and i'm my own Spirit...

Dope

your scent comes
from across the sea
of flushed faces of despair.
your voice a low melody
it strains my senses
embellish me with cascades of lusts.
your sight, that of Lucifer,
so luscious and appealing.
its almost incapacitating.
i sense your being
as you walk like Adonis
among the lesser mortals of blood.
i touch you
every time i'm sense bereft
like all the haze the smoke conjures.

the creeping sensuality
vital in your marble-taut frame.
you shine like a comet
in my moonless sky of fame.
you intoxicate me beyond gasps.
as i stifle in the purple thunders of your impact.
you come as my concentrated dope.
it takes all i have, to be intact.
you flow like burning crimson
in the womb of my impregnated fantasies.
you command like a despot
make me bondaged to gory tragedies...

Immobile

you soared like a meteor
across my dark, moonless sky.
the scattered stars with
their apprehensive shyness,
Hidden!
your blazing tail
dripping saccharine sadism
upon the unblinking eyes
of my adoration,
Dazed!

you shot over the horizon
then you were gone.
it was all like it was before.
but i was blinded.
my eyes cannot adjust.
my light won't return.
you took it along with you.

i was left with a deep crater
upon the heaving bosom
of my deep desires-
Immobile...

that flash of light,
that moment of dazzle,
a hazy chamber of
You and Me.
that instance of eternity
beyond comprehension,
idly wafting the wings
of my unborn wants.

and then you vanished.
just how you had appeared.
my little orgasm of chastity-
you took it along with you.

i was left with a searing burn
upon the cushions of my harmony-
Immobile...

from Grace...

and how she falls from Grace,
still Graceful!
she tagged along the serpent's tail
and strode across knowledge.
she acknowledged what he didn't.
but he condemned it as a Sin.
and how she falls from Grace,
still Graceful!

she walked on the gravels,
and slept on the sand.
she bore the lineage of miracles,
in the lap of land.
she was called names.
and he rose to pinnacles on her behalf.
and how she fell from Grace,
still Graceful!

a tradition in making.
and she led from the front.
so appraising, so deceived.
"the Sinful", "the Seductress".
the trade for a starless sky.
and how she left the Grace,
still Graceful!!

Losing

another victim of hypotension
living on the stakes quite high
all of the hopes make refreshed
to be unfulfilled at the last sigh.
and when the darkness closes the air,
eyes overlapped with despair.
steal yourself your dirty dungeons
and search for the lost nightmare.

do i see you, relentless nerd,
moping, grieving
on the gates of Heaven?
or imagine you, ceasing star?
a judgment in coming!

i walk through
the stones, moss and sand,
leaving my imprints behind
only to be washed by the sea
just like a lonely man.
horizons escapades set low
crying in deeps, forlorn.
crashing in waves of the vast
clouds are so numb and blown.

do you see me, a confused jumble,
prattling, screaming?
or lost me, in shot and the blaze?
crimson stream, merging to be lost
in the tides of a lost gratitude.

... hell IS happening...

i feel so wasted and low,
like nothing's worth.
so troubled,
that troubles don't seem wicked
anymore.

so pained,
that now it seems my only escape.
wasted carcasses of wants
hang on hinges,
devoid of their surge of salty rust.
beheaded.
they seem like another plaything
to be used and thrown away.

voices! voices!
voices from an alabaster dream
while it shines flashbulbs in my eyes.
deafening, so imposing,
like a bat's tenderness raped at a concert.

crimson scars decorate the skin
every now, one drips another poison.
screaming, screeching inanimately.
burning in a cold flame of hyssop.
in hysterics over this hysterectomy!
ironical in an unconcealed way...

content in the hollow.
content in wasting away.....

Packed

these walls seem to be closing in.
i'm wanting you.
desiring you so much that it's paining-
somewhere deeper down.
the smoke is playing with my visions.
i feel it entering me.
merging with my breaths.
my breath feels so warm!
or... is it cold outside?

i remember reaching a void just now.
but i didn't even touch myself.
do imaginations, alone, have such power?
i know it shall be the time to stop.
i'm sober... but am i sane?
you're my dope!
does it convey all i wanna say?

with tiny drops falling from the sky,
the thunder seems to fall on my fragility.
i feel trapped in my own labyrinths of immateriality.
life, a big fiasco!

i turn my head upwards
and feel the rain on my tongue.
it tastes sweet, but not sweeter
than the aftertaste of my fags.
yet, even that taste,
is dirt, compared to you!
can't tell you how much i'm wanting
to keep wanting you.
you creep like a gecko
upon the taverna of my desires.

man, you're dope!
and i'm sloshed!
i wanna overdose on you
and let myself be consumed!

a word...

this dingy room, right now,
is clustered with cobwebs from my pasts.
i feel like taking a broom and clean-up.
but i can't.
i just cannot.
happiness is totally spaced out.
i wanna scream!
i wanna scream at all those people
who are aliens to my memory-land now.
this won't hurt.
it shouldn't!

its him... again!
what am i really wanting?
he's so hurting me right now.
i wanna run away from him.
but i'm not sure if i can.
my masochistic tendencies take over.
he was so ethereal.
now he's just another boy-
a regular boy
with dreams of an extraordinary world!
is it possible,
to want and hate someone
at the same time?
why am i even thinking about him?

"LOVE"!!!
oh! right.
what a word!
but just a word.

In Blues

thinking of nothing,
yet something.
some decorated memories
of moments we can't leave behind.
sodomized,
in the rooms which boiled
ripped off our senses
by people in soiled pants...
saying a little prayer
everyday, for them!
god protect the junkyard
and the dunk of mayhem!
strange, how the prayers
bound you and me too...
our brief vents of frustration
in the blues of the loo!!

The MeAL....

the soul ceases where the voices call,
deep from the tunnels of the dark.
scathed victim of a scavenging savageness,
a murdered shriek of a lark.

voice ceases where the storm begins,
in the caves of another Lucifer.
still uncertain in these draconian times,
still unable to fathom what is deciphered.

a saccharine poison flows
from your mouth into the deeps of mine.
eyes shut themselves to avoid
what is inevitable in this time.

to be held hostage in fragility
in the arms of your venomous animosity,
its like the rush is so perfect
in this medium of supple rhyme.

the rush ceases where it burns.
it only leaves the remnants of gory.
flesh still throbs in the impulse
towards the end of my story.
i see you still beaming at me.
can you make the pain go?
you grin your best at your hapless prey.
and forge all there would be to know...

LusT....

the dance is as pleasurable as the want
like serpents entwined in the dust.
layers of profanity rendered useless.
falling deep in the dungeons of rust.
it trickles till the curve of my spine
the sweat that dresses this moment.
the nape of his neck smells like musk
with beads of a sinful thirst.
the lips forgot all words
talking the acts of the must.
the contours are touched and forgotten
like abandoned causes of disgust.

it rains a different rain
as angels fall from the cusp
dance with me this dance you yearn
like a forgotten dance of our lust.

its good to see the "love" combust
and become profound like it used to be.
fall like the leaves fall
to land uncertain in distrust
dance how your instincts have guided
dance free...
dance the lust.

Eclipse

its as still as a graveyard
the forest hasn't dropped its cloak.
the birds are deep in their deathly slumber,
the owl twisting in the old oak.
the mist blows like the stream,
only the sound is that of a drizzle.
like caravans of abandoned gypsies,
drops cover what's not their territory!

the silver light floods through the still.
not a movement of the worms.
the snake entwined with the creeper,
like awaiting its joyous scum!

the light fades,
the disc becomes a crescent.
the fog makes faces.
darkness is welcomed with muted gasps,
the holy waters, the only sound.

its no diamond ring,
but just a band of platinum
upon the cold fingers of the night...

The RODENT that i AM

to dig a grave in the name of a furrow-
the appeal of darkness,
the discovery of a new life in the black.
eyes adjust to suit what's not!

another mundane presence of shimmer-
the rays of a gleaming pretension.
a smoke fills the very existence of insanity.
a new isthmus with no base to hold.
peeping out to see a day begin.
the body offends the hands of the clock.
the tedious hedonism of hunger,
provoking an assault over the dogma.

silent words screaming in deaf ears
the map leads to wrong dungeons
of a possibility more lethal than sanity.

beatification of the swollen limbs,
sadism takes over the remaining senses.
the morgue of buried hopes,
is full of the stench of rotten desires.
staggering back to the safe place, "home",
the dagger pierces hard to the core.
dropped ears to silence the dimming quiet,
sleep deprived, it feels another life!

The man who became Christ

to see the hollow like you do
is a different sarcasm than the one i'm used to
to feel the jilt in the blossoming flower,
anything to find a rainbow of black and blue..
parasitical leeches curving on the bend
of remorse, over unending quarrels of hinges,
over unending issues of a saccharine venom.

In the beautiful fangs of the unyielding traitor,
the chasm stretches to become the cusp.
i drink with an insatiable hunger,
the pain of the one who values it more than me.
above the toll bell of the ironic church towers
he stands purged with dripping blood of the man
who was abandoned just when he needed an accomplice.

The graveyard screams extend their chorus into the ears of
your "Christ", the "Jehovah" who was traded in the altars of zilch.
he stands by the gates of disgust with a bowed head.
i sit by the heels of the man who was sold
i drink the sweet venom pouring out of his wounds
he fulfills me in a way that only makes me more thirsty
and i fulfill him to make me feel abandoned the same way.

Protective

he craved,
so aggravate
he waited for the moment to come.
the moment came
and passed away.
he sat in the remains of his dictum.
the smell like flowers,
an insatiable urge.
forcibly contained within the remaining sanity.

she felt like a power.
too magnetic to escape.
she lent and bent nearer to her cage.
her heart flipped
her senses fled
nothing for the refuge or for help.
a leap too miscalculated.
a liaison so enthralling
the risk became the reason for a fairytale living.

the bounty so profound.
the desires so purged.
the cure of the hyssop
and it resulted in a burn
she sat with shattered pieces
to wait for him to return...

WASH

like the blood of clouds
it bleeds on me.
drenches me.
purges me.
it doesn't matter
whether i wanted it,
yearned for it,
waited.

in a flood of purity
i wash my sadism.
Pray, tell me not
what am i missing
Coz, i know not what.

it plays softly in my hair.
tells me things.
soothes despair.
this wind blowing gently,
all in me.
carrying me.

it rains and rains.
it rains in me.
i wish it won't stop
until it floods in me.
let it be my thirst
let it be my cure
let it be my want
and let it be more!

Forsaken

don't look at me.
don't come out 'n' open
keep hiding
behind those clouds opaque
even if i know u can see me
i don't want you to know
that even i can break
even i can look inside
and find another
worthless waste inside me.

there's something wrong.
isn't it?
you can see
but can you feel?
i don't see.
i don't know.
but its like there is
this dead butt
stubbed in my head.
and it still curls smoke...
remains of the last fag.

No! don't look at me.
i'm ragged and so withered.
i'm a downer in the deep.
i feel i'm so doomed.
i feel like on a razor
with edges that shall cut me.
i feel Forsaken.

Blind at a Stop

she sits on her throne
of thorns, of limbs
and of the bones
of the ones
she never cared about
as if it never dawned on her
that even others have a heart
that can be hurt
or be broken.
she sat in her airs
and felt nothing amiss
even if it all was
barren and deserted.
she sat in blithe ignorance
that it was bleeding
that it was stinking
that it would be
the darkest of herself
she sat in utter ego
for she wasn't aware
of anything beyond
the end she was approaching
she sat, for she didn't care
she sat as if it was all fair
she sat along this nightmare...